We’ve always suspected that the big money is in porn, so part of Therefore’s company strategy is to send a few dozen pitches every month to major porn studios. Every month we make a list of titles to prove that we know the kind of porn people want to see, and every month we receive notice that our concepts were REJECTED for development. Instead of giving up, we’re sharing them with you in the hopes that you’re a porn executive and can get some of these made.
One of the writing projects that I’ve been working on over the past year is a book of stories for children. I’m still looking for an illustrator, as most of the artists I’ve approached have seemed somehow reluctant to depict these tales. Below are four selections from the book. Enjoy!
The Wolf King:
The villagers always warned us that if we went too far out of town, the Wolf King would come down from the mountains and devour us whole. They said he was bigger than any wolf or even a pack of wolves, with glowing yellow eyes and jaws the size of a dragon’s. Of course, in reality, there was no Wolf King. It was just a dragon who came down from the mountains and devoured children whole if they went too far out of town.
We heard your cries for more creepy Russian singers from the 70′s who barely move their mouths while singing… something. And you will find yourself humming this the rest of the day. Is it just me, or could this song be part of a Katamari soundtrack? He does sound a little like the King of All Cosmos.
To introduce you to the world of Therefore Productions, we’ll be running a series of interviews with members of the company. Our second interview is with Therefore Productions’ “jack-of-all-trades,” Bill Bodkin, who will be interviewing himself.
Bill Bodkin: Bill, it’s really great of you to take time out of your busy schedule to speak with us.
Bill Bodkin: No, Bill, the pleasure is all mine. It’s really great to speak with someone who is as wise and awesome as you.
BB: You’re pretty awesome too.
BB: Yes, I am.
BB: Let’s start with a little background. Tell us about your childhood. Where were you born?
To introduce you to the world of Therefore Productions, we’ll be running a series of interviews with members of the company. First up is someone very special to us: our mascot, The Therefore Lion.
Bill Bodkin: Thanks for taking the time to speak with us.
The Therefore Lion: No! Thank you for having me! It’s a real pleasure and an honor. I want to eat you so bad right now. Oh Lion, did you just say that out loud? Yes, I did. No you didn’t! Sorry, you probably think I’m drunk. Do you think I’m drunk?
BB: Are you asking me or yourself?
TTL: Let’s do this!
BB: We’ll start off with a little background. Tell us about your childhood. Where were you born?