We’ve always suspected that the big money is in porn, so part of Therefore’s company strategy is to send a few dozen pitches every month to major porn studios. Every month we make a list of titles to prove that we know the kind of porn people want to see, and every month we receive notice that our concepts were REJECTED for development. Instead of giving up, we’re sharing them with you in the hopes that you’re a porn executive and can get some of these made.
Therefore Productions recently took a much needed trip to the beach, complete with swimming, fried Oreos, hot bods, arcade games, and of course, an epic mini golf tournament! The colossal 25-hole course on the rooftops of Seaside Heights boardwalk boasted some truly challenging obstacles, like a particularly disgusting water hazard. We also got the feeling that someone was… looking at us. That’s when we noticed the bizarre, terrifying faces of the fiber glass animal statues littered throughout the course. We took plenty of photos for your enjoyment, but please don’t stare too long into the gorilla’s empty, soul-less eyes.
Just because I can’t afford to eat at a restaurant, that doesn’t mean I don’t know exactly what fine food tastes like. I really know what it tastes like! I’ve looked in the windows of steak houses and soup kitchens so many times that I’m practically an expert. Come with me now, as I share my recent experience eating a filet mignon… in my mind!
After a little summer break, Therefore Productions is getting back into production mode. We’ve got some new videos that will be coming out over the next few weeks that are sure to put a smile on your beautiful faces.
In the meantime, our blog has learned a new trick. If you visit ThereforeYou.com on your mobile browser (iPhone/iPod, Android, Opera Mobile, Windows Mobile, and some Blackberries), you’ll be directed to the new mobile version of the site. It’s so mobile!
If your phone doesn’t have Flash support (as is the case with most phones), then a lot of the videos embeds won’t display on the mobile site. YouTube videos do work, however, by opening the video in a YouTube app, if you have it installed on your phone.
If you’re looking for a quick laugh or are curious about what Therefore is up to, this is a great way to read ThereforeYou on the go.
Hello Children! Today we’re featuring a pair of new tales that are certain to make you appreciate your youth while you’ve still got it.
The Crying Woman
One night when we were young, my brother and I snuck out of the house to see what went on after bedtime. We got as far as the edge of town, where there was a seedy bar called Donna’s. A woman was standing outside against the wall, in a spot just past the glow of a streetlight where we could barely see her. We froze to avoid getting caught; then, we heard her sobbing. For awhile my brother and I stayed where we were. We weren’t sure what to do, but listening to her cry in the dark was making us nervous. We tried to call to her, but our voices wouldn’t come out. We started to walk towards her, and as we did she slumped down and fell over into the light on the sidewalk. Her eyes were staring forward; she was dead. The sobbing, however, continued. When the police found her the next morning, they didn’t notice any unusual sounds. That tape recorder was too high-quality for us to just leave with her.
For today’s “In a Perfect world”, I will be sharing 10 terrible/awesome movies I would have created had James Cameron went nuts hours before shooting Avatar and e-mailed me $400M dollars. In a perfect world, one of these movies would have been the big hit of 2009! Next time Hollywood! Next time!
1. Escape From Hell
An epic, pseudo-philosophical action film, executed in the cinematic style of Dragon Ball Z: Evolution. The movie follows the adventures of 69 dinosaurs as they claw their way out of hell, only to find out that heaven isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Hey everybody! Sorry for the drop in frequency of our updates. Therefore’s been busy meeting people and starting new projects, and I’ll be trying to keep things documented for you so you can all know what busy bees we are. This week I’ve got photos from a BBQ with some creative types hosted by the ebullient Jacki, bar crawling with our friends Paul and Anna from Australia, and some camera tests for a music video from our friend, director Camiren Romero.
Summer’s almost here and if there’s anything Vickdang loves more than summer slams, its summer jams! Right about now you’re probably illegally downloading the hottest, freshest tunes off of Kazaa Lite Beta 1.2, burning them onto a CD-ROM diskette and planning to jam them into your Mom’s boombox all summer long. Well, close out your Napster right now because I’ve got the aural journey of the summer mapped out for you right here. You don’t need Hypemachine, Pitchfork or Salacious Sounds to tell you what’s cool. Just leave it up to ol’ Vickdang to jam these hot tunes into your Mom’s boombox!
Zen Buddhists know the sound of “one hand clapping”, but do they know the sound of “one man slapping all instruments onto his body and kind of playing them?”. Welcome to the world of Mcrorie! There are no words to express the sheer awesomeness that is Mcrorie’s “Just Say Yes!”. But if I were to try, I’d say it’s like listening to an inspirational speaker from the 80′s, demonically squeal incoherent advice into a tin can. Feast your ears, you will never hear something like this again!